May 2, 2008 2:01

My Last Miley Post, I Promise, I Think

Regular commenter shara says lays down some common sense in the previous thread on the Miley Cyrus brouhaha:

If the parents of little kids are upset, then that's their business I guess, but they can't expect a young woman to not grow up just because they want a kid-friendly icon or role model. She plays a character on TV, she shouldn't have to live her life as that fictional girl so overprotective parents will have an unrealistic role model for their sheltered kids. If she went topless and bedheaded on the kids show, then, that would be a somewhat different matter, and the bru-ha-ha from outraged parents would seem more reasonable.

Boldface mine. One pet peeve of mine, whether in this case or any other pop-culture blowup, is the complaint: "Now I suddenly have to explain to my __-year-old child that..." Yes, God forbid you should be forced to explain an uncomfortable truth about the world to your child. Call me crazy, but I've always thought that as a father,* that was my job. I don't always get to choose the timetable. I don't like having to explain the war in Iraq to my six-year-old, for instance, but I do it.

Whenever those uncomfortable discussions come along—it doesn't matter if it's about death or pregnancy or a TV show—it's probably sooner than you want it to. But however young your child is, there are age-appropriate ways of explaining it. And another one of the things it's my job to explain, especially in the media world we live in, is the difference between real people and characters.

That is even trickier, I will admit, with Hannah Montana, as the show to some extent depends on conflating Miley Cyrus and Hannah Montana (her character's "real name" on the show, after all, is Miley). But young fans who are really into Cyrusiana will have noticed that she's made the point lately of distinguishing her real self from her character (for career reasons, presumably), recording under her name and doing concerts as both "Hannah" and herself. I wouldn't underestimate kids' ability to grasp this sort of thing. (Though again, if you're that worried about your daughter being confused, perhaps she's a little too young for Hannah Montana.)

Really, the controversy isn't about sheltering kids. It's about sheltering parents.

* Before someone asks, I have two kids, both boys. Some people would say that I have no business sticking my oar in on this if I don't have daughters. I disagree. First, because I have my own battles to fight with boy culture, having much more to do with violence and that sort of thing—but I think that comes with the job too. Second, because I think that any argument that depends on narrowing and narrowing the set of people who are allowed to have a valid opinion (you need to be a parent... well, you need to be a parent of girls... well, you need to be a parent of girls of a certain age...) is probably a flawed argument.