Swampland - TIME.com

Romney's Robot Act

It is easy to make fun or Romney's stiff, unnatural way with crowds and individuals. He talks funny (probably the first person to use the word "golly" unironically since The Beaver). He loves lawyers, rules, and notes.

But when you're up close to him, watching him work a room, sometimes cracks appear. He strains so hard at sociability you find yourself kind of rooting for the guy... for me, it inspires the same sort of mix of dread and hope that you might feel when you watch a person who has just overcome a speech impediment deliver a presentation.

And mixed in with this determined affability is a genuine desire to want to make a connection... which makes it all the more weird to watch. At one house party in Iowa, he approached a buffet and rubbed his hands together, ready to dig in. "Now, what should I do here?" he asked no one in particular. There were cold cuts, sandwich buns, and -- the Midwest's gift to American cuisine -- melted Velveeta-and-Rotel-tomato dip.

Romney picked up a sandwich bun. He reached over to the ladle wading in the Velveeta concoction. My heart started to sink. I wanted to yell, like you do at horror movie: "Don't go in the attic! Don't go in the attic!" but "Not the cheese, not the cheese!"

And then he drizzled melted cheese on the sandwich bun.

I had to turn away.

All that said, you can't write a Romney piece without a software reference. Here's the latest one.


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About Swampland

Joe Klein

Joe Klein is TIME's political columnist and author of six books, most recently Politics Lost. His weekly TIME column, "In the Arena," covers national and international affairs. In 2004 he won the National Headliner Award for best magazine column. Read more

Karen Tumulty

Senior Writer Karen Tumulty has been TIME's National Political Correspondent since 2001, and has also covered the White House and Congress for the magazine. A native of San Antonio, she is a graduate of the University of Texas at Austin and Harvard Business School, where her career choice has significantly lowered the average salary of her graduating class. But she gets lots of free magazines. Read more

Jay Newton-Small

Jay Newton-Small Jay Newton-Small covers politics for TIME. She has covered the Bush 43 White House and also Congress from the DeLay era to the present. And, yes, despite the misleading name SHE is a she. Read more

Michael Scherer

Michael Scherer is a correspondent in TIME's Washington bureau covering the 2008 presidential campaign. He has worked national assignments for Mother Jones magazine and Salon.com. Read more

Amy Sullivan

Amy Sullivan is a senior editor at TIME magazine, and author of the book The Party Faithful: How and Why Democrats are Closing the God Gap (Scribner, 2008). A Michigan native, she holds degrees from the University of Michigan and Harvard Divinity School. She writes about religion and politics for TIME, but no longer answers to the name "Bible Girl." Read more

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